Forgotten

Have you ever felt, you are being overlooked?
Have you ever felt that your prayers are not being answered?

As, I write this, I envision, myself in a classroom, with my hand raised but no one ever calls on me, or picks me. It feels as if I have been forgotten. 

The pain in this, is I feel that God has forgotten about me and I'm disappointed that he has forgotten.

The disappointment comes with God being all knowing, so he knows the issues, I've struggled with in the areas of being loved and wanted. Currently, working on it, but I've dealt with abandonment for majority of my life, and yet I feel abandoned yet again. 

To many, it doesn't or won't seem that I'm forgotten. Ministry is good, Business is good, the outward is awesome and I know without a doubt those doors are opening because HIS hand is in it...But I am on the quest for my inward to match my outward...

I've prayed a specific prayer for the last 5 years and nothing. 

No one has spoken to my situation. I haven't had any tailored Words, just for me. No right on time words, nothing. 

I've been left to deal and figure this out on my own. Of course, I know that HE will never leave nor forsake me, but knowing and feeling something, is two different things. 

Going to church has become pointless to me, I'm like again, nothing for me. So I don't even go. 

It's disappointing, it's frustrating and its disheartening to have your hand raised and no one calls on you, or picks you. 

I am blogging because I don't want to put my hand down. I want to keep believing. I want to trust the process. I really do. 








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