Out of My Mouth, My Heart Speaks

I thank God for the things I don't deserve. I don't deserve to have such a wonderful family...yes, it may seem dysfunctional to others but to me it is just right and it is mines. I don't deserve awesome friends:the Waymanites , the VIP Crew, my kstate girls, the revolutionaries and to the ones that doesn't fit into a clique, all of them rock. At times, I have been a horrible friend, mostly due to my selfishness and instant gratification but I thank God for the things I don't deserve. I don't deserve G,who he the best boyfriend ever! He is a Man of God and he makes me want to be better. I donut deserve him for I haven't always been the best girlfriend to him, lying and being deceitful . I didn't love myself completely so I couldn't grasp the concept that someone else loved me, regardless and in spite of. It took me a while to realize that true love is possible. And that didn't come until I began to deal with me and go to the places in ...

Tues, had a discussion with my friends from church and the topic of G and I came up...how long we've been dating and when are we going to get married? We've been in each others lives since 2006, we've been serious since 2008. Lately, I've been asking myself the question how long do I wait for the ring? I may not be ready for marriage but yes, I am ready for engagement. Engagement doesn't mean we are getting married the next day, just means we are ready to take our relationship to the next step. After the discussion with friends from church, I spoke with a dear friend, who knows everything about me and about my relationship...she basically told me to wait, don't rush it and to let it go for now. Yep, so I was koo or so I thought...but the next day I still wasn't able to shake it. So, I spoke with another church member about it and this is when I began to cut myself with my own words...told her that I've prayed and prayed and asked God for a sign. Also sh...

Do you know God is real? Many say or believe in a higher being, but do you personally know God is real for yourself? Every since I can remember Ive always believed that there was something bigger thus learning and falling in love with Jesus. There are times when its evident that God is present in my life and there are times I'm asking, Where are you God? At these times, I may begin to question a lot of things in my life and just when I do, God sends me a reminder that HE is real. Lately Ive been going through the purging process with God and it is leaving me sensitive , unsure and highly vulnerable but as soon as I feel like giving up, God blesses me with another job, one I interviewed for months ago, thinking I didn't get the job. God is real. Sunday, at a birthday celebration, God spoke to me again, confirming his realness. I was joking with my pastor about him paying for my dinner since it was Pastoral Sunday. Like really joking. And at the end of dinner my pastor hands ...

Yes, I a huge India.Arie fan...but this statement is so true for me and I understand it more as I get older and every time I change my hair. Hair is a big deal in our society....the hair that is society friendly is long straight hair. But I don't fit or think I will ever fit into this category. Hair has been a struggle for me every since I can remember...in Elementary, my hair was long, but not straight. My mother knew nothing about hair-she had a Jeri curl until the late 90's or early 2000's, way over the era...but Hey she kept that thing shinning and juicy! I had thick hair and somewhat kinky so I would get the straighten comb every 2weeks, but it wouldn't last, no longer than a week, if that long, so my mother was unable to tame it so she resorted into giving into the creamy crack when I was 8 years old...which I think was to early. This is when my hair changed...from the worse...it was still long, but it began to fall out and it began to thin out as well. Hair in El...

Recently I added TV one, Centric and MTV 2 to my cable package because I live in Lexington KY and there isn't a lot of culture or urban- ness , so I needed it, was feigning for it. Its nothing like seeing someone you can relate to, that's rarely the case in Lex . So adding these channels was for me to be in tune with my Blackness and to embrace it daily. Upon watching the the shows aired on these channels, they made me think about my community, the Black community. Most shows aired on all 3 channels are "Black" sitcom's in the 90's such as The Cosby Show, Martin, Living Single, The Steve Harvey Show and New York Undercover, etc. Watching these shows not only make me miss tv from the 90's it also makes me raise a few questions about tv and the portrayal of African Americans. Every show listed above, Black ppl were successful, had careers and were determined to be something in life. Ex. Cliff (doctor) and Clair (lawyer), Martin(radio host/ tv show ho...