I am NOT my hair
Yes, I a huge India.Arie fan...but this statement is so true for me and I understand it more as I get older and every time I change my hair.
Hair is a big deal in our society....the hair that is society friendly is long straight hair. But I don't fit or think I will ever fit into this category.
Hair has been a struggle for me every since I can remember...in Elementary, my hair was long, but not straight. My mother knew nothing about hair-she had a Jeri curl until the late 90's or early 2000's, way over the era...but Hey she kept that thing shinning and juicy! I had thick hair and somewhat kinky so I would get the straighten comb every 2weeks, but it wouldn't last, no longer than a week, if that long, so my mother was unable to tame it so she resorted into giving into the creamy crack when I was 8 years old...which I think was to early. This is when my hair changed...from the worse...it was still long, but it began to fall out and it began to thin out as well. Hair in Elem, wasn't extremely horrible, stayed with the ponytails, braids with beads and the occasional shop do's. Middle school, I rocked the bang and fan for both yrs, I believe. And in the 8th grade I was introduced to weave! In high school, I wore a weave ponytail, daily, and I wasn't getting perms often, like once every 6 months. I've never had what someone would call "nappy" hair, its curly so i can get away with it but not for an extra long time. Also in h.s I stayed with braids and pin curl ponytails or some type of up do. I never wore my hair down (always pulled back into a ponytail) until graduation day, June 2004. That lasted for a week. Then the braids were back...all of this to prevent myself from getting relaxers, I hated getting one. It was horrible. My scalp is ultra sensitive, so I never had a pretty experience...thus leading me into the one of my best hair decisions, going natural. Last relaxer for me was June 2004. Entering college with micros and kept them for 4 yrs, either kinkys or micros...by this time my hair is super thick again. Going natural was something empowering for me, I can't explain it. But a great feeling. November 2009 is when I took the braids out and began to fully embrace my naturalness. But it came to a point where I couldn't comb my hair...that was a major problem so in April 2009, I was going through a rut so I decided to relax my hair and cut it. First time cutting my hair(in a bob), other than the ends. Also 1st time getting a rinse, so I was coming into my own as far as a hair awakening. Hair was thin again and it began to break off. In May 2009, I found a hairdresser! June 2009, is when the big cut came, which has probably been the best decision Ive made hair wise. My hair was broke off so bad, it was in patches, almost looked like Fire Marshall Bill (In Living Color). Cut it all off, like a step or two above a fade. This is when I was re-introduced to weave...wore it consistently, until Sept or Oct 2010. All the latest styles, I had them, pretty trendy...Hair was cut into the Mohawk style. October is when I began to wear my hair regularly, length and texture is banging now. O yea, I stay with a Black rinse. Dec 2010 my hair is a nice length, growing quick and thick. At this point, I am deciding if I should cut it or let it grow. Around this time I switch hairdressers. Currently torn in between the two. Hair healthy or so I thought...Feb. 2011, getting long. Liking it. But it begins to break in the middle as before, so another big chop and cut the Mohawk out as well. And another cut like 2 days ago, so I am back to how I was in June 2009, almost. Relaxers are better for me now, I can only use sensitive scalp relaxers. I like myself with short hair, makes me look like I'm 20, if not my age 25. So I don't know if I will ever have long straight hair. I must admit, I want dreads, but I'm scared, its so permanent. And I am not opposed to a fade either. But I like short hair because I can rock it short or I can add weave and transform. Saying all this to say, I am not my hair. My hair is just the outward part of me, my hair can be fly, but I can be piss poor on the inside. What good is it to be hot/trendy on the top of my head but my thoughts inside my head are rotten? I am Not my hair. I'm rocking a short spike look this week, next week Ill have a quick weave. My hair doesn't determine my character or personality. I AM NOT MY HAIR!
Hair is a big deal in our society....the hair that is society friendly is long straight hair. But I don't fit or think I will ever fit into this category.
Hair has been a struggle for me every since I can remember...in Elementary, my hair was long, but not straight. My mother knew nothing about hair-she had a Jeri curl until the late 90's or early 2000's, way over the era...but Hey she kept that thing shinning and juicy! I had thick hair and somewhat kinky so I would get the straighten comb every 2weeks, but it wouldn't last, no longer than a week, if that long, so my mother was unable to tame it so she resorted into giving into the creamy crack when I was 8 years old...which I think was to early. This is when my hair changed...from the worse...it was still long, but it began to fall out and it began to thin out as well. Hair in Elem, wasn't extremely horrible, stayed with the ponytails, braids with beads and the occasional shop do's. Middle school, I rocked the bang and fan for both yrs, I believe. And in the 8th grade I was introduced to weave! In high school, I wore a weave ponytail, daily, and I wasn't getting perms often, like once every 6 months. I've never had what someone would call "nappy" hair, its curly so i can get away with it but not for an extra long time. Also in h.s I stayed with braids and pin curl ponytails or some type of up do. I never wore my hair down (always pulled back into a ponytail) until graduation day, June 2004. That lasted for a week. Then the braids were back...all of this to prevent myself from getting relaxers, I hated getting one. It was horrible. My scalp is ultra sensitive, so I never had a pretty experience...thus leading me into the one of my best hair decisions, going natural. Last relaxer for me was June 2004. Entering college with micros and kept them for 4 yrs, either kinkys or micros...by this time my hair is super thick again. Going natural was something empowering for me, I can't explain it. But a great feeling. November 2009 is when I took the braids out and began to fully embrace my naturalness. But it came to a point where I couldn't comb my hair...that was a major problem so in April 2009, I was going through a rut so I decided to relax my hair and cut it. First time cutting my hair(in a bob), other than the ends. Also 1st time getting a rinse, so I was coming into my own as far as a hair awakening. Hair was thin again and it began to break off. In May 2009, I found a hairdresser! June 2009, is when the big cut came, which has probably been the best decision Ive made hair wise. My hair was broke off so bad, it was in patches, almost looked like Fire Marshall Bill (In Living Color). Cut it all off, like a step or two above a fade. This is when I was re-introduced to weave...wore it consistently, until Sept or Oct 2010. All the latest styles, I had them, pretty trendy...Hair was cut into the Mohawk style. October is when I began to wear my hair regularly, length and texture is banging now. O yea, I stay with a Black rinse. Dec 2010 my hair is a nice length, growing quick and thick. At this point, I am deciding if I should cut it or let it grow. Around this time I switch hairdressers. Currently torn in between the two. Hair healthy or so I thought...Feb. 2011, getting long. Liking it. But it begins to break in the middle as before, so another big chop and cut the Mohawk out as well. And another cut like 2 days ago, so I am back to how I was in June 2009, almost. Relaxers are better for me now, I can only use sensitive scalp relaxers. I like myself with short hair, makes me look like I'm 20, if not my age 25. So I don't know if I will ever have long straight hair. I must admit, I want dreads, but I'm scared, its so permanent. And I am not opposed to a fade either. But I like short hair because I can rock it short or I can add weave and transform. Saying all this to say, I am not my hair. My hair is just the outward part of me, my hair can be fly, but I can be piss poor on the inside. What good is it to be hot/trendy on the top of my head but my thoughts inside my head are rotten? I am Not my hair. I'm rocking a short spike look this week, next week Ill have a quick weave. My hair doesn't determine my character or personality. I AM NOT MY HAIR!
I think hair is always a struggle for women of color; for several reasons. One is society's ideals of beauty and what hair should be. The other is finding the products to use for our particular variations of hair texture. The right products can work wonders on your tresses. I had hair issuses up until about 4 years ago. My hair is naturally curly and super frizzy because it's so fine. I too was a victim of the creamy crack at an early age and it completely changed my hair too. I still get relaxers, just the ones for kids and not very often. They don't take away my natural curls, just loosen them up a bit an help control the frizz. I find that keeping the products and heat to a minimum also helps with keeping my hair healthy and somewhat tame.
ReplyDeleteThe problem I have is with the brainwashers who are teaching our beautiful babies that having long and stright hair is the only way to be beautiful. My niece (8) came home from school one day a little over a year ago telling her mom that she didn't want to wear her hair curly anymore because the girls at school were teasing her. My niece never got relaxers but her mom had the tedious task of flat ironing or blow drying her thick curly locks a couple times a week. When this happened, her mom took drastic action and said no more stright hair in this house, we're both going natural. She cut her hair off, started fresh and gave up flat ironing and blow drying my nieces curls. My niece now knows that she is not her hair and regardless of the styling she is still beautiful.