Teenage Blues
I am in a stage in my life where I simply feel like a teenager again. As a teenager you pretty much have that mind set, "I'm grown, I got this." My Parent (God) has been telling me things to do and normally it wouldn't be a problem, but just because HE is telling me I wanna do the complete opposite. Teenage behavior: rebellion. Rebellion is when you refuse to accept authority. God has been telling me to basically get rid of 45% of the people in my life..you are probably thinking, aww that's not bad, it's not, but I've already given up 50% of the people in my life...do the math. HE has been whispering 3 phrases to me everyday about the past month: Everything Must Go, Clean House and Order. And I totally understand why, God is removing people in my life so I can completely and totally trust him, without a doubt. Trust means to believe. I trust you, means I have no doubt in my mind in your honesty, integrity and credibility. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. Many may wonder why I haven't mastered this trust thing, yet. Like I've stated in a previous blog, "Don't trip He Ain't Through with me Yet" I've never really trusted anyone completely and if I did trust them even a little, I ALWAYS get thrown under a bus. Even at 25, it's only one person that I can say I trust and I still don't think it's 100%. As a result of no one taking the time to exemplify what trust is and what it means to trust, it's an issue for me in the natural and in the spiritual. So God wants me to focus on not worrying about trusting people, because I will continue to be hurt by them, if I don't TRUST HIM COMPLETELY. He is preparing me to be effective in my ministry, I know what one of my gifts are and that's the gift of service (meaning I will be working with people) and HE doesn't want my gift to be tarnished or tainted because I haven't dealt with ALL the issues in me. HE wants to teach me trust because those I'm assigned to will have to trust me in order for me to be effective in their life.
Also, in this stage, I often find myself being hard head. Being hard head simply means, stubborn. All stemming from, me wanting to do things, my way. God is dealing with me, to completely remove me. And I'll be the 1st to say, its not fun but completely necessary so HE can get outta me what HE needs to get out of me.
The only problem about this is I haven't even made it to the teenage point in my life (follow me in the spirit) I am still a babe in Christ. You wonder how can this be and I've known Christ pretty much my whole life. I've known the idea of Christ and not who He is personally to me. God has always been just that to me, the one who died for me, but I never put to much thought into it, basically, I boxed him in and made him in the Saviour and not my personal savior. But experiencing God for myself has been absolutely mind blowing.
In this stage, I am questioning EVERYTHING. And God is like, girl, sit back and let me handle this. So I'm learning to let HIM show me different manifestations of himself.
When I think about the teenage/adolescent stage of life, I have to use my educational background in counseling, I began to study the different theories on adolescence and the one that I am able to relate to the most is, Erikson's stages of Psychosocial development. In this stage, the conflict is Identity vs. Role Confusion. I can so see myself, at this place/point in my life. Searching for my identity. Asking the question, Who am I? While discovering my identity is important, I must also identify what my role is, to prevent role confusion. Role confusion is simply what it sounds like...not knowing your place. But believe it or not God is checking me in this area as well...this Season, I am in, is humbling, totally. It is reminding me that I am a babe in Christ and that I still have a lot to learn. I must first learn to crawl before I can walk. I must get back to the basics.
And lastly, a characteristic I'm dealing with is,disobedience. My disobedience comes from me not understanding. Not understanding why I'm in KY still, not understanding why I am "alone" (surrounded by many but the only one in the room) and not understanding why I am going through this season I am in....I've learned half the lesson but there is still a lot to learn. But I'm a willing student! Lord, whatever I gotta go through, teach me! Also, slowly but surely, I'm learning that the things I've listed above are not meant for me to understand....now. I'll understand it when God wants me to, even if he wants me to.
Yep, I have the Teenage Blues.....soliciting your prayers!
Thanks!
Also, in this stage, I often find myself being hard head. Being hard head simply means, stubborn. All stemming from, me wanting to do things, my way. God is dealing with me, to completely remove me. And I'll be the 1st to say, its not fun but completely necessary so HE can get outta me what HE needs to get out of me.
The only problem about this is I haven't even made it to the teenage point in my life (follow me in the spirit) I am still a babe in Christ. You wonder how can this be and I've known Christ pretty much my whole life. I've known the idea of Christ and not who He is personally to me. God has always been just that to me, the one who died for me, but I never put to much thought into it, basically, I boxed him in and made him in the Saviour and not my personal savior. But experiencing God for myself has been absolutely mind blowing.
In this stage, I am questioning EVERYTHING. And God is like, girl, sit back and let me handle this. So I'm learning to let HIM show me different manifestations of himself.
When I think about the teenage/adolescent stage of life, I have to use my educational background in counseling, I began to study the different theories on adolescence and the one that I am able to relate to the most is, Erikson's stages of Psychosocial development. In this stage, the conflict is Identity vs. Role Confusion. I can so see myself, at this place/point in my life. Searching for my identity. Asking the question, Who am I? While discovering my identity is important, I must also identify what my role is, to prevent role confusion. Role confusion is simply what it sounds like...not knowing your place. But believe it or not God is checking me in this area as well...this Season, I am in, is humbling, totally. It is reminding me that I am a babe in Christ and that I still have a lot to learn. I must first learn to crawl before I can walk. I must get back to the basics.
And lastly, a characteristic I'm dealing with is,disobedience. My disobedience comes from me not understanding. Not understanding why I'm in KY still, not understanding why I am "alone" (surrounded by many but the only one in the room) and not understanding why I am going through this season I am in....I've learned half the lesson but there is still a lot to learn. But I'm a willing student! Lord, whatever I gotta go through, teach me! Also, slowly but surely, I'm learning that the things I've listed above are not meant for me to understand....now. I'll understand it when God wants me to, even if he wants me to.
Yep, I have the Teenage Blues.....soliciting your prayers!
Thanks!
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